And All They're Left With is the Memories
by The Elfmaniac
Summary: [ pre to post Blues Brothers, one shot ] Elwood Blues always had trouble with women.


**do not own Blues Brothers.  
Act surprised.**

**This idea came to me, a little bit, from watching Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.  
And then, I put in Blues Brothers..and..the rest is history.**

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Elwood Blues always had a lot of trouble with girls.

No, he could get them. By the time he was five and at the orphanage, shy little Elwood was sometimes holding hands with a boisterous little red-head or a blonde with pig-tails. Jake would tease him constantly, as would Curtis, but he was just being a gentleman. Curtis had taught him and Jake to be polite (though they never were to the Penguin), though Elwood took it a step further. He was nice and polite to every woman he encountered, be it when he was younger or older.

The problem Elwood Blues had was committing.

When he was a teenager, he'd get numbers with a giggle and a wink, and he'd promise to call.  
What Elwood actually did was put the number away and forget about her. The girl would sit by their phone for hours, sighing and tapping fingernails and eventually just going off to cry to their parents.

It wasn't that he really _wanted _to make the girls feel bad.

Elwood just had troubles remembering stuff like that.

Jake would ask him about girls, and the poor Blues brother would remember and whack his head against the wall. This caused a bunch of laughing from his brother and Curtis. Their caretaker would remind him to remember girls, for they were fickle creatures.

Once The Blues Brothers was a certified band playing things from St. James Infirmary Blues to St. Louis Blues to anything else they could jive to, the women problem for Elwood just grew. He'd meet women before the show, tell them to meet him somewhere, and never show up. In the Caddy, he'd be driving and cursing and banging his head against the wheel because he forgot. And Mr. Fabulous and Jake and everyone else would laugh at him because he'd been a complete spacey jackass.

When Jake went to jail for sticking up the gas station, Elwood shied away from the women. He kept to himself and sometimes talked to the band, though he let them drift apart. He kept in contact with Curtis and sometimes the Penguin, but only when he was feeling especially lonely.

He was a handsome man, and it didn't go unnoticed by co-workers. Though Elwood himself didn't look for girls among the workers, there were a few who would occasionally be flirty or all-too friendly with him. He'd respond with an almost vacant look or a weary smile before going back to work at line inspection.  
One especially desperate worker put glue on her hand and grabbed onto Elwood's arm in an attempt to get him to talk to her or date her.  
It took about two days for the solvent to come in, and those were the most hellish two days of his life.

And awkward, too. He didn't shower during those days, and he had to make sure she wasn't looking (though insane giggles were fine) while he used the bathroom.

Needless to say, Elwood didn't let anyone at work touch him after that. Just nodded to them in acknowledgement.

On his way to get Jake from the slammer, her stopped to fill up the police-car (new and improved) Blues Mobile, and met a cute brunette who was having trouble with her tires. He helped and got paid petty money (about twenty-four dollars), and then planned to meet her once his brother was safely at his apartment.  
Well, one thing led to another and whatnot, as he really didn't get to meet her (destroying a mall often hindered journeys).

Before the infamous concert, he met the lovely blonde in the convertible, and, of course, offered to meet her at a motel.  
Elwood actually _did_ remember it this time, though they were on a high-speed chase and really couldn't stop to have a quickie.

So, he went to jail for a while.

When they were out and doing the concert deal again, history dared to repeat itself and left the girls he half-picked up with nothing but the memories.

It was just Elwood Blues being himself.

An idiot who had a bad memory.

But, himself.

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**Read and review, pleaseee.**


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